When we need to be strong throughout our entire lives, letting others in and asking for help can be our greatest challenge. As Alivia entered her freshmen year of high school, she had to be that strong person. The oldest of six kids in her home (two siblings, and three cousins), Alivia saw herself as the rock that held her siblings together. She devoted her time and energy to supporting her siblings while her Mom and Stepdad worked. Throughout all of this, Alivia rarely expressed interest in her own hobbies, activities, or future plans. Alivia’s Mom grew concerned, and knew that her kids needed support, and a trusted mentor they could confide in. That’s when she enrolled Alivia and her siblings in Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Alivia was matched with Tanise in November of 2019. At just 21 years old, Tanise was no stranger to being a Big. She had two previous Littles as a Teaming Up With Youth mentor while in high school. However, Tanise was in college now, and wanted to continue to supporting youth and being the kind of mentor that inspired her to explore her passions when she was younger. Tanise quickly learned that Alivia was shy, nervous and struggling to find her own voice. It didn’t take long for Alivia to open up to Tanise, however, and they became fast friends. Tanise gave Alivia a safe space to share her feelings, passions and interests. With Tanise, Alivia wasn’t expected to be the strong person who needed to be there to help everyone else. Now, she had her own person to be open and vulnerable with.

Tanise believed the best way she could support Alivia was by giving her control. She always asked Alivia to pick their activities together. This led to memorable outings at Painterly Pottery, local coffee shops, petting zoos and local fairs. Tanise also gave Alivia to freedom to lead their conversations. Alivia eventually opened up about her love for animals, science and the outdoors. Unfortunately, their friendship suffered an early setback when the pandemic arrived in March of 2020. While in isolation, Tanise and Alivia made a point to connect via video chat most weeks. At one point, Tanise dropped off art supplies at Alivia’s door, and they would regularly paint together while video chatting. Both Tanise and Alivia recall these virtual painting sessions as some of their fondest memories together, and expressed the power of their connection during a time of isolation.

Alivia is now a senior, and ready to start the next chapter of her life. In May, Alivia will become the first generation of her family to receive a high school diploma. Her confidence has grown since being matched, and Tanise is helping Alivia prepare to attend Delta College in the fall. Alivia also took a major step this year, opening up to her Dad with her feelings about their relationship. Alivia’s Dad has rarely been present in her life, or her siblings’ lives. What started as a school project gave Alivia the opportunity to share a letter she wrote with her Dad about how his absence has impacted her life, and the relationship she wants with him as an adult. Tanise said Alivia needed a lot of encouragement before opening up to her Dad, and she was there to help.

While Alivia isn’t sure what she wants to do with her life, Tanise has helped her figure out how to start college, and explore majors and career opportunities. Alivia is currently considering a career involving science and/or agriculture. Once she completes classes at Delta College, she hopes to transfer to a local university, allowing her to pursue her goals while staying close with her family. Alivia’s story is evidence that just one caring person can be the catalyst to unlock a young person’s voice and passions, and set them up on a road to a bigger, brighter future.